Breaking Brad: Was Bigfoot wearing a rubber corncob? -
Published Wednesday, September 11, 2013 at 10:50 am / Updated at 1:24 pm
Breaking Brad: Was Bigfoot wearing a rubber corncob?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* After Tuesday night's storms rolled through, 250 OPPD customers were without power. OPPD was working quickly to restore power because the longer the outage lasted, the longer some Omahans were not being overcharged for electricity.

* A 15-year-old reported spotting a 7-foot tall, hairy creature near the Platte River in Saunders County at 5:30 a.m. in late July. Because this involved a 15-year-old kid at 5:30 a.m., we know it is 100 percent credible.

* It's being investigated as a possible Sasquatch sighting. There's an explanation for why Sasquatch surfaced here: He just announced he's the eighth candidate for governor of Nebraska.

* Bigfoot was spotted on a country road. I think I speak for all Nebraskans when I say: If Sasquatch can fix the roads around here, just leave him be.

* This is Nebraska's Bigfoot. He's 7 feet tall, extremely hairy and sporting a rubber corncob on his head with a big red “N.”

* Omaha now has its first Dunkin' Donuts, which means if you want to see cars traveling 190 mph, you don't have to wait for the Indy 500 -- just stand near the drive-thru.

* A new bar and grill is set to open in Benson, which means visitors to Benson will now have exactly one billion bar and grills to choose from.

* A group of Omaha car buffs rebuilt a 1941 Studebaker, and it reached 201 mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. Now, the goal is to tweak the car so it's fast enough to drive on the Dodge Expressway.

* Tokyo will host the 2020 Summer Olympic Games. Knowing the Japanese, they want to have all the venues ready to go by Thursday.

* Because it's Tokyo, Godzilla will light the Olympic torch.

* The New York City mayoral primary was Tuesday. To give you an idea of how far Anthony Weiner fell, he finished behind Mark Sanchez.

* After conceding defeat in the New York City mayoral primary on Tuesday, Anthony Weiner reportedly gave the middle finger to a reporter as he drove off. If he'd done this earlier, New Yorkers might have voted for him.

* Weiner gave the finger to an NBC News reporter. So, apparently, he's not all that bad.

* The government in Egypt ordered a migratory bird detained after it was accused of spying. If the bird was spying for the U.S., you know those C.I.A. cuts are starting to hurt.

* An electronic device was found attached to the bird. This sounds like my favorite episode of “Get Smart.”

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

State Department moves to delay Keystone XL pipeline decision
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
High court denies death row appeal of cult leader convicted of murder
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
Omaha judge reprimanded for intervening in peer attorney's DUI case
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Police seek public's help in finding an armed man
Saturday forecast opens window for gardening; Easter egg hunts look iffy on Sunday
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
A voice of experience: Ex-gang member helps lead fight against Omaha violence
Church is pressing its case for old Temple Israel site
OPPD board holding public forum, open house May 7
The thrill of the skill: Omaha hosts statewide contest for students of the trades
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
When judge asks, Nikko Jenkins says ‘I killed them’
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
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Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
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As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
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