Breaking Brad: Was Bigfoot wearing a rubber corncob? - Omaha.com
Published Wednesday, September 11, 2013 at 10:50 am / Updated at 1:24 pm
Breaking Brad: Was Bigfoot wearing a rubber corncob?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* After Tuesday night's storms rolled through, 250 OPPD customers were without power. OPPD was working quickly to restore power because the longer the outage lasted, the longer some Omahans were not being overcharged for electricity.

* A 15-year-old reported spotting a 7-foot tall, hairy creature near the Platte River in Saunders County at 5:30 a.m. in late July. Because this involved a 15-year-old kid at 5:30 a.m., we know it is 100 percent credible.

* It's being investigated as a possible Sasquatch sighting. There's an explanation for why Sasquatch surfaced here: He just announced he's the eighth candidate for governor of Nebraska.

* Bigfoot was spotted on a country road. I think I speak for all Nebraskans when I say: If Sasquatch can fix the roads around here, just leave him be.

* This is Nebraska's Bigfoot. He's 7 feet tall, extremely hairy and sporting a rubber corncob on his head with a big red “N.”

* Omaha now has its first Dunkin' Donuts, which means if you want to see cars traveling 190 mph, you don't have to wait for the Indy 500 -- just stand near the drive-thru.

* A new bar and grill is set to open in Benson, which means visitors to Benson will now have exactly one billion bar and grills to choose from.

* A group of Omaha car buffs rebuilt a 1941 Studebaker, and it reached 201 mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. Now, the goal is to tweak the car so it's fast enough to drive on the Dodge Expressway.

* Tokyo will host the 2020 Summer Olympic Games. Knowing the Japanese, they want to have all the venues ready to go by Thursday.

* Because it's Tokyo, Godzilla will light the Olympic torch.

* The New York City mayoral primary was Tuesday. To give you an idea of how far Anthony Weiner fell, he finished behind Mark Sanchez.

* After conceding defeat in the New York City mayoral primary on Tuesday, Anthony Weiner reportedly gave the middle finger to a reporter as he drove off. If he'd done this earlier, New Yorkers might have voted for him.

* Weiner gave the finger to an NBC News reporter. So, apparently, he's not all that bad.

* The government in Egypt ordered a migratory bird detained after it was accused of spying. If the bird was spying for the U.S., you know those C.I.A. cuts are starting to hurt.

* An electronic device was found attached to the bird. This sounds like my favorite episode of “Get Smart.”

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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