Breaking Brad: Jim Flowers the guest of honor at NU-Southern Miss game - Omaha.com
Published Friday, September 6, 2013 at 3:14 pm / Updated at 12:24 pm
Breaking Brad: Jim Flowers the guest of honor at NU-Southern Miss game

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* Big announcement on Friday. Jay Z will play the Pinnacle Bank Arena on Dec. 1. Jay Z is known for the single "Big Pimpin.'" I can already picture those Lincoln civic leaders going: "We are bursting with pride to present the singer of, uh, 'Big Pimpin,' at the new arena."

* In several cities, protesters were arrested inside a Walmart. I know, at one store, there was a 10-mile high-speed chase without ever leaving the store.

* Diana Nyad is making the rounds after swimming from Cuba to Florida. To put this in perspective, the total distance is over half the length of a CVS receipt.

* According to the new jobs report, 169,000 jobs were created in August, most for new Baltimore Ravens defensive backs.

* On Thursday night, Peyton Manning threw for seven touchdowns, including two each to Julius Thomas and Demaryius Thomas. Late in the fourth quarter, Manning even hit Marlo Thomas for a TD.

* It's expected to be so hot at the Huskers-Southern Miss. game, the pregame pep talk is going to be delivered by Jim Flowers.

* Facebook has a plan to get the entire world online. You think there's a lot of envy, jealously, hatred, bitterness and war-mongering in the world now? Just wait until everyone's on Facebook.

* Picture a world where everyone is on Facebook. I'd predict World War III will break out within five minutes.

* August's “Elysium” is a futuristic film. It takes place so far into the future, the 2013 Husker football team has played a road game.

* The first game of the NFL season aired on NBC on Thursday night, which means Cris Collinsworth should be almost done talking by now.

* An online article I saw is titled “The Worst Predictions In History.” The season hasn't even officially begun, and already people are taking shots at Fox's NFL pregame show.

* The Farmers' Almanac is predicting a blizzard for the upper northeast around the time of the Super Bowl in New Jersey. We have to take this seriously because the Farmers' Almanac is what Omaha TV meteorologists use to predict the next day's weather.

Also from Brad: President Obama arrives at the G-20 in style

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Beau McCoy calls Pete Ricketts a 'convenient conservative' for immigration stance
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Hail, strong winds, heavy rain hit south-central Nebraska
Video: Stothert says Crossroads project is 'full speed ahead,' but she won't support bond issue
'Fairly old' human skull found in Mills County
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
Omaha crash victim, 19, had touched many lives
Firefighters take on 'fully engulfed barn fire'
Council Bluffs school board approves new district headquarters
Officials announce effort to lure more veterans to Nebraska
SB 132nd Street lane closed
Shane Osborn grabs several endorsements
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Omaha area may get 1 inch of rain tonight
Gov. Heineman vetoes bill to ease restrictions on nurse practitioners
Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
Waitress who served alcohol to teen before fatal crash gets jail time, probation
Owners of exotic dance bar deny prostitution allegations
More Nebraskans are electing to vote early
A day after Ricketts endorsement, Ted Cruz backs Sasse for Senate
Some city streets remain closed
Nebraska's U.S. Senate candidates stick to familiar topics at Omaha forum
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COLUMNISTS »
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Breaking Brad: Nebraska GOP candidates unified against naked squirrels
Some of these Nebraska campaigns are tilting pretty far right. At a recent forum, there was a consensus that we need to ban public dancing and clothe naked squirrels in public parks.
Breaking Brad: Inside the mind of a 99-year-old real estate agent
I saw an article about a 99-year-old real estate agent who's still working. “This house is extra special. It has indoor toilets!”
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In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a child climbed inside a claw machine. Hey, Florida kid: Nobody likes a copycat.
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The Nebraska campaigns have turned so ugly, Democrat Chuck Hassebrook lobbed unfounded accusations at an imaginary opponent.
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