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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* Big announcement on Friday. Jay Z will play the Pinnacle Bank Arena on Dec. 1. Jay Z is known for the single "Big Pimpin.'" I can already picture those Lincoln civic leaders going: "We are bursting with pride to present the singer of, uh, 'Big Pimpin,' at the new arena."
* In several cities, protesters were arrested inside a Walmart. I know, at one store, there was a 10-mile high-speed chase without ever leaving the store.
* Diana Nyad is making the rounds after swimming from Cuba to Florida. To put this in perspective, the total distance is over half the length of a CVS receipt.
* According to the new jobs report, 169,000 jobs were created in August, most for new Baltimore Ravens defensive backs.
* On Thursday night, Peyton Manning threw for seven touchdowns, including two each to Julius Thomas and Demaryius Thomas. Late in the fourth quarter, Manning even hit Marlo Thomas for a TD.
* It's expected to be so hot at the Huskers-Southern Miss. game, the pregame pep talk is going to be delivered by Jim Flowers.
* Facebook has a plan to get the entire world online. You think there's a lot of envy, jealously, hatred, bitterness and war-mongering in the world now? Just wait until everyone's on Facebook.
* Picture a world where everyone is on Facebook. I'd predict World War III will break out within five minutes.
* August's “Elysium” is a futuristic film. It takes place so far into the future, the 2013 Husker football team has played a road game.
* The first game of the NFL season aired on NBC on Thursday night, which means Cris Collinsworth should be almost done talking by now.
* An online article I saw is titled “The Worst Predictions In History.” The season hasn't even officially begun, and already people are taking shots at Fox's NFL pregame show.
* The Farmers' Almanac is predicting a blizzard for the upper northeast around the time of the Super Bowl in New Jersey. We have to take this seriously because the Farmers' Almanac is what Omaha TV meteorologists use to predict the next day's weather.