There is never a dull moment at Big Ten media days. Except, of course, when Kirk Ferentz is at the podium.
One expert said that Big Ten media days is less chaotic than Big 12 media days. Yeah, and so is the Running of the Bulls.
Each coach at Big Ten media days was given 15 minutes at the podium. Bo Pelini asked: “What am I supposed to do with the extra 13 minutes and 30 seconds?”
Florida linebacker Antonio Morrison was arrested for allegedly barking at a police dog. No truth to the rumor that Morrison then relieved himself on a fire hydrant.
Attention all headline writers: Suggestion for the day after Morrison has a bad game: “His bark's worse than his bite.”
On an upcoming TV special, two NFL players will race a cheetah. Attention, NFL: Having your players running with the world's fastest animal may not be the best way to dispel the myth that they're all on performance enhancers.
Randy Moss hosted his own horseshoes tournament. Because it's the Randy Moss tournament, three quarters of the way through everyone quit.
Brewers slugger Ryan Braun was suspended from Major League Baseball for the rest of the season. No word yet if this precludes him from playing for the Miami Marlins.
Twins closer Glen Perkins got two batters out with his pants zipper down. With all the stats in baseball, there's probably a record for most outs with your fly undone.
The 3-year-old grandson of Brewers bench coach Jerry Narron threw out the first pitch before a game. For an idea of how sophisticated junior sports programs have gotten — it was a slider.
Tai Webster, a Nebraska basketball player from New Zealand, arrived in Lincoln after a 7,750-mile flight. At NU, Webster is listed at 6-foot-3. Before his arrival, most sites listed him at 6-1. OK, that's when you know it was a long flight.
A photo emerged of Nate Robinson signing a baby at an NBA Summer League game. If you get a chance to see the photo of Robinson and the baby, Robinson's the one on the left.
The NBA granted permission for the Charlotte Bobcats to drop the “Bobcats.” Embarrassed citizens were hoping the team could drop the “Charlotte.”
Seven British racehorses tested positive for steroids. Authorities became suspicious when three of the racehorses placed at the Tour de France.
There is an online video of an “impromptu boxing match” between a man and a deer. This sounds like something you'd see at the Cornhusker State Games.
A quick update from the Cornhusker State Games: The Rhythmic Archery-While-Toe-Dancing finals will be Monday at 7 p.m.
And finally: Former NHL great Jeremy Roenick punched a fan in the face at a golf tournament after the fan requested it. Only a hockey fan goes: “There's my idol. Should I get a photo? An autograph? Naw, I'm gonna ask him to slug me in the kisser.”