Published Monday, May 27, 2013 at 1:00 am / Updated at 2:44 pm
Frank Cerabino: Graduates will need some technical advice

It’s high school graduation season, a fresh opportunity to offer an (earnest/snide) address for the occasion.

Dear high school graduates:

As your commencement speaker today, I intend to make my remarks as (inspiring/brief) as possible, knowing full well that my words here today will (resonate/compete) with your (dreams/mobile devices) that you cherish and carry deep within your (hearts/graduation gowns).

I can see by your (smiles/ear buds) that your (future/Wi-Fi) is (bright/working) and you can’t wait to start (flexing/texting) your (wings/friends).

I don’t pretend to know what (careers/browsers) you’ll be launching, or whether your search for (identity/entertainment) leads you to turn to (academia/Angry Birds) or (a trade/YouTube cat videos). But I do know that we have a moment here together to (face/Facebook) this day with an outpouring of (joy/updates).

So let’s celebrate your new phase in life, knowing that our time is precious and that we don’t have an (instant/Instagram) to waste. And that as we look ahead, we should also look back fondly on all the many hours we’ve spent enjoying our (times with friends/Words With Friends).

Some of you here today are probably already (daydreaming/live-streaming) the new (future/Iron Man movie) that has been made possible due to the generosity of (your parents/some dude) who provided you the (love/pirated video) by (showing/uploading) it on (a daily basis/the Web).

They are our heroes.

As for advice, whatever your (interest/Pinterest) is, you should (follow/post) it, and not be afraid to shine your little light in the great, big (universe/Twitterverse.)

I know, some of you are already saying, “I’ve heard that song before.” Especially those of you with (grandparents/Spotify).

So what can you learn from us, members of the (older/ geezer) generations?

There are (certainly/not) many bits of worthwhile advice we can offer you. But I don’t have to tell you that. You probably have already noticed that when crossing paths with us in (life/movie theaters), we still haven’t fully grasped how to put our (lives in order/phones on silent).

It ought to be clear by now that (life/technology) is a mystery to us. And that the best bit of kindness you youngsters can offer is to stay in touch with your elders as we age, so you can (repay our love/help us with the instructions).

The constant challenges of (declining health/new electronic gadgets) and (economic insecurity/tricky computer software installations) leave older Americans vulnerable to a grim future without (security/viral videos), a future marked by a lonely life of unplugged (isolation/face-to-face human interaction).

You are our hope.

And even if you can’t save the world we left you, we’re counting on you to tell us how we can (make it a better place/survive it) by (your inspiring example/anesthetizing ourselves with entertainment).

My speech is done. OK, so how do I turn this FaceTime app off?

Police ID body found near 36th, Seward Streets
Agreement reached to end dog racing at Bluffs Run at end of 2015
World champion Crawford's promoter working to have title defense at CenturyLink Center
Hail, strong winds, heavy rain hit south-central Nebraska
Video: Stothert says Crossroads project is 'full speed ahead,' but she won't support bond issue
'Fairly old' human skull found in Mills County
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
Omaha crash victim, 19, had touched many lives
Firefighters take on 'fully engulfed barn fire'
Council Bluffs school board approves new district headquarters
Officials announce effort to lure more veterans to Nebraska
SB 132nd Street lane closed
Shane Osborn grabs several endorsements
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Omaha area may get 1 inch of rain tonight
Gov. Heineman vetoes bill to ease restrictions on nurse practitioners
Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
Waitress who served alcohol to teen before fatal crash gets jail time, probation
Owners of exotic dance bar deny prostitution allegations
More Nebraskans are electing to vote early
A day after Ricketts endorsement, Ted Cruz backs Sasse for Senate
Some city streets remain closed
Nebraska's U.S. Senate candidates stick to familiar topics at Omaha forum
19-year-old killed in one-vehicle crash at 72nd & Shirley
< >
COLUMNISTS »
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Breaking Brad: Nebraska GOP candidates unified against naked squirrels
Some of these Nebraska campaigns are tilting pretty far right. At a recent forum, there was a consensus that we need to ban public dancing and clothe naked squirrels in public parks.
Breaking Brad: Inside the mind of a 99-year-old real estate agent
I saw an article about a 99-year-old real estate agent who's still working. “This house is extra special. It has indoor toilets!”
Breaking Brad: Into the claw machine! Florida kid follows Lincoln kid's lead
In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a child climbed inside a claw machine. Hey, Florida kid: Nobody likes a copycat.
Breaking Brad: Even Chuck Hassebrook's throwing mud!
The Nebraska campaigns have turned so ugly, Democrat Chuck Hassebrook lobbed unfounded accusations at an imaginary opponent.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
Tokyo Sushi
$5 for $10 or $10 for $20 toward All-You-Can-Eat Sushi Purchase
Buy Now
PHOTO GALLERIES »
< >
SPOTLIGHT »
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
WORLD-HERALD ALERTS »
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for Omaha.com's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »